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Things began simple enough in the nearly empty courtroom. The Politician and the Pirate took their seats as did the Barista and the Police Dog. But things didn’t stay civil for long.

“I was just trying to help the Police Dog apprehend criminals,” the Barista was explaining to the judge.

The Politician leapt to his feet. “We were set up!”

“Tha’s right,” the Pirate agreed also rising. “Arrre business be a legit’mat one.”

The Police Dog growled at the implication that he was corrupt.


“They attacked us with a Tempest in a Teapot!” the Barista accused, quickly bringing up a video of the incident on his phone. Through the gale, the Pirate could be seen gleefully wielding the teapot.

“In self-defense!” The Politician gestured to the Police Dog, to take the focus off of the video. “Do you see how vicious he is?”

At this the Police Dog laid down and rolled over, looking as cute and innocent as possible.

“Besides, the Barista is wearing a Mithril Tux. How did he afford that on his salary? Something fishy is going on there.”

The Barista stammered a bit before declaring, “The tux was a gift.”

“From?” the Politician prompted.

The Barista didn’t have an answer, and after a few moments of silence, the judge asked for any final statements. Both sides summed up their arguments before the judge’s verdict.

“I rule in favor of the Politician and the Pirate.”

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